So as you probably now know I am in my second month of my spending ban and..well, it has been a tough one so far!
Yes, I know it sounds stupid but, as I highlighted in my Spending Ban post I like buying new things to make me feel happy. I like buying new things because I like spending money. Full. Stop.
So, it is hard to not buy any new clothing item etc for more than a week. Everyone is different though.
So far this is how I have felt..
Of course, now that you’re concentrating on not spending and only saving your money, you start to realise how expensive everything is..
I have started to run out of a few of my skin care and make up essentials (typical!). Cleansers, brow products, foundation, shower gels etc. I’ve also been spending a bit more money on food (groceries) – I’ve also realised how expensive a weekly shop is!
Of course bills, rent and phone credit is due. It was harder to save at the start of February to be honest. Adulting isn’t as fun as you thought it would be when you were younger.
I don’t know if it is just the weather, or the start of the year where you think you’ll achieve a lot.. but haven’t even scratched off a single letter of your “goal list”. I have been feeling very low lately..and more frequently. I’ve caught myself asking myself what life is all about..
I’ve realised that I don’t know how to be happy without buying new things (especially when our weather decides to intervene with my plans of going out and walking in nature).
I’m also trying to figure out what makes me happy. To be honest I know it’s spending time with family, being with nature, taking photographs etc. Unfortunately, I am currently dealing with a few family issues that have made me continue to think what is life all about..I keep thinking if we were actually put out on this earth to suffer..
The weather hasn’t helped this constant low feeling I’ve been experiencing.. I know you have to shake yourself..but sometimes you just can’t see the light and that is hard to even think about.
I’m also feeling more paranoid about spending money so I’m finding myself saying I don’t have money to go out or to even go to the cinema..
I’m hoping that this will pass and things will start to get better but for now there’s a big huge black cloud over me that’s making it difficult to even think of anything good.
I’m also turning thirty next month and I really thought that I’d have my career sorted by now. I have an Honours Bachelor of Science degree in Video and Audio Production which I’m so proud of but I can’t seem to get anywhere..
I’m sorry for this turning out to be so negative and down but it’s how I’m feeling at the moment and I’m going to be real. There’s this feeling that everything is rosy in a Bloggers world but to be honest..one picture that we post only captures that moment in time and not how we are really feeling so don’t be fooled by the pretty pictures or the smiling selfies..
Anyways..I’ll leave you with a quote because we do need to end this on a positive.. here’s hoping it’ll get better ✌🏼